Whose Wedding Is It, Anyway? - Chosing the Date

The closer JB and I get to our wedding day, the more real things become. It is one thing to look at things online, but another to go into a store and see it in person. Talking to someone on the phone is nothing like talking to a real live person, whether it be at a bridal store, reception hall, etc. You get the feeling like, "WOW, this is really happening"!

One of the things JB and I wanted to do right away was chose our date. You may think that was quite obvious, but it proved to be a daunting task. I was pretty flexible, but it was difficult working with JB's military schedule. I wanted to get married after he was stationed. JB wanted to get married before. I always wanted a fall wedding, but JB wanted to get married in the spring. Should we get married on a Saturday? What about Sunday? How is Friday? Goodness, for two people who were made for each other, we certainly were not seeing eye to eye on this one.

After going back and forth for some time, JB and I finally settled on a date. We spoke with both of our families to let them know what we decided and the conversations did not go as planned. On JB's side, his brother was graduating the day before our tentative wedding date, so clearly, that was not going to work. My mom just felt the date did not work for her, plain and simple.

We were back to square one.

For the second time, JB and I sat- calendar in hand- going through every single weekend to come up with another date. Just to be sure, we even set up an ALTERNATE date just in case. The date we chose seemed to work well with the folks on both sides. Naturally, we thought we were set... until every venue we spoke to told us that date was booked. Apparently, Saturday is THE day for weddings, so every Saturday within a three-month radius was booked. Good thing JB and I were more prepared; our alternative date seemed to work for most places. Our families (gotta love 'em), not so much. The alternate date we set was a weekday and that did not bode well with the 'rents. The date that worked well for our families did not work with the venues; what worked for the venues did not go over well with our parents. JB and I felt like we could not win. Discouraged and frustrated, we were...

...Back to square one. AGAIN! (BTW- do you see a recurring theme, here?)

This time, we decided we were no longer going to try to figure out a date. We were going to let it just fall on our lap. A good friend told me sometimes when you do not know what to do, just do nothing. So, nothing we did. Then something strange happened. My mother said, why not get married on Month/Date/Year? To which my response was the you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me look coupled with the whachu-talking-bout-willis side-eye. The date that my mother proposed was the INITIAL date we gave them in the first place! All of a sudden, mom could not recall what was the problem with the date initially, but on second thought it was a great idea. In asking JB's parents, you will not believe what happened. They mixed up the brother's graduation date which was a whole month later than they thought, so guess who else thinks the date is a good idea?

While everyone was excited about said date, JB and I could not believe what just took place. We were absolutely floored. Yes, in the end we got what we wanted, but it only took 4 months of back and forth between us and our families. In all this, JB and I learned a series of lessons, the first being that the false opposition you get in the beginning is just that- false. Secondly, sometimes you have to step back and let things fall into place because in the end, it usually does. And lastly, when planning a wedding, you have to constantly ask yourself, whose wedding is it, anyway? In remembering that it is YOUR day and keeping in mind it is impossible to please everyone, the process will go smoother and will be more stress-free.

Next on the to-do list: Venues.