MY LAST BLOG POST WAS NOVEMBER 2009?!?!?!?!? How the heck did that happen?!?!
WOW- so much has happened during that time; I don not even know where to start.
OK- let me see... I started my series, "Whose Wedding Is It, Anyway", and I plan on continuing. Thank you for being patient while I have been MIA (especially Rocky and Amy). I will be continuing with my series, but I have to take a moment and talk about a completely random topic...
The Case of the Ex.
When I first got engaged, it was hard to think like a couple because my mind was still in single mode. I had to learn to exchange the "I" for "we" and after 11 months of being engaged (can you believe it has been that long?!), I can truly say that it has gotten much easier (right, babe?!). Every decision no longer affects me, it affects the both of us. When I go shopping, I think about what he wants as well. I do "our" laundry (sometimes); cook "us" breakfast, dish out "our" dinner, etc (hmmm I almost sound like a good house wife! lol). This engagement period has been a huge learning process and has done wonders for our relationship, which will make for an easy transition into married life.
But there are still a few hang ups.
For some reason, I seem to be having a case of the ex. Before you freak out, please, let me explain.
I do not have exes calling me up or texting/FB poking and/or messaging me on a regular basis. Not even on an IRREGULAR basis! I have a personal rule not to speak with exes, so no issue there. BUT I do have guy friends who occasionally make their presence known and that is one thing I have not been able to master- I do not know what to do with my male friends!! Worse yet, I am in a sorority, so my male friends are multiplied by 3 because of my frat brothers.
Although nothing has happened between me and said "male friend(s)", it is still uncomfortable, for me at least, to navigate the tricky waters of platonic male/female friendships. So far, my M.O. has been not to deal with it, but how long can that last? Right now, it is hard to see my life pre-JB, but the truth is, it exists. My goal is not to forget about it forever, but fuse the two as seamlessly as possible. That, my friends, is not easy.
Right now, JB is still in school, so I have met all his college friends. When JB mentions certain names, I know exactly who he is talking about. For me, it is the complete opposite. Every name I mention needs a back up story; not because I have to explain myself, but because I have to explain who they are! The people (men) that JB know and had a chance to meet are cool. It is the the ones whom he has no knowledge of where it gets to be a bit sketchy. The male friends JB has met talk to me and include him in the conversation- even if he is not around. They ask how my fiance is doing, how is the wedding planning, etc. The ones who have NOT met JB talk about random stuff... including parties we went to back-in-the-day, people we used to know (whom I probably do not talk to anyway)- nothing having to do with my present life and relationship, so the conversation is a bit irrelevant and outdated for me.
There is definitely an unbalance and I am trying to find it. I do not want to be the girl that got married and cut all her friends off, but some men just do not understand that certain things are just off-limits to a woman in a relationship.... especially one soon to be betrothed. I guess once they get it, JB meets all of them, I learn how to strike that balance, or all of the above, I will continue to keep things short and maybe even ignore them altogether.
To all my male friends reading this, I cannot say I am sorry for ignoring you, because I am not. Growing sometimes means leaving people behind if they are not growing with you. Thinking back on things that happened years ago is not my idea of a conversation piece; not when my future is much better. Learn that and maybe we can continue to be friends.
Until then and the next time...
Peace.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Whose Wedding Is It, Anyway? The Venue
Now that JB and I have figured out our wedding day, it was time for us to decide where we would have our nuptials. We thought it would be easy, but not so much- we were certainly not the Trumps! We had to make sure we found a place that was not only affordable, but gorgeous too. Also we wanted to make sure it was a good midway point between our respective locations.
We searched and we searched and we searched! And then we searched some more. It was hard for JB to come to some of the venues, so I drug my parents around town. Town after town, we looked at contracts, we talked to proprietors- "Is our date available? Is catering included? Do you offer any discounts?" Then after I ask my questions, they ask there's- "How many people are you expecting? Would you like a plated dinner or buffet? Dance Floor? Indoor? Outdoor?" Having that conversation once is not so bad, but six times? That is just too much!
Even with all that, I still could not decide on a place. I liked all the places we went to, but I did not love any of them. Then something happened. My mom and I went to an Open House at one of the venues we visited and met one of the brides there. She had just come from another venue and could not decide whether she wanted to have her wedding their or the one hosting the Open House. My mom and I heard about the venue she mentioned, but we never looked into it. So at 7:30pm- on a weeknight- we drove to another town to check this place out and we fell in love. It had everything we wanted; it was beautiful, affordable, and in a central location. Now, we just had to tell JB.
One of the things I love about JB and our relationship is that we know if we do not agree on something, then it is probably not the right choice. Being on one accord with your significant other is HUGE and we were determined to start that solid foundation during our engagement period. Going through this process put our accordance- if you will- through the test. This is the first time we had to make decisions about something significant that affected us. When the stakes are that high, you have to be on the same page or else it will not work. Thank God, JB and I are committed to making this work.
That following weekend, we made an appointment with the wedding coordinator at the reception hall so JB could get a good look at the place. He loved it as much as I did. We walked away ecstatic that we not only had our date, but we had our reception hall. Things were coming together quite nicely.
It is hard going through this process because after a while, things start to look the same. Your mind is processing the same information over and over and everything becomes redundant, but it is in that moment where you have to ask yourself, "What am I feeling?" If you are not feeling it, then it is not for you. If you like it, but you do not love it, you have to move on. JB and I have to make sure that whatever we decide, whether it is the date, the reception hall, the photographer- whatever- we BOTH love it and our hearts are committed to every single detail. After all, whose wedding is it, anyway? You would be so surprised how easy it is to forget that.
Next up- THE LIST!
We searched and we searched and we searched! And then we searched some more. It was hard for JB to come to some of the venues, so I drug my parents around town. Town after town, we looked at contracts, we talked to proprietors- "Is our date available? Is catering included? Do you offer any discounts?" Then after I ask my questions, they ask there's- "How many people are you expecting? Would you like a plated dinner or buffet? Dance Floor? Indoor? Outdoor?" Having that conversation once is not so bad, but six times? That is just too much!
Even with all that, I still could not decide on a place. I liked all the places we went to, but I did not love any of them. Then something happened. My mom and I went to an Open House at one of the venues we visited and met one of the brides there. She had just come from another venue and could not decide whether she wanted to have her wedding their or the one hosting the Open House. My mom and I heard about the venue she mentioned, but we never looked into it. So at 7:30pm- on a weeknight- we drove to another town to check this place out and we fell in love. It had everything we wanted; it was beautiful, affordable, and in a central location. Now, we just had to tell JB.
One of the things I love about JB and our relationship is that we know if we do not agree on something, then it is probably not the right choice. Being on one accord with your significant other is HUGE and we were determined to start that solid foundation during our engagement period. Going through this process put our accordance- if you will- through the test. This is the first time we had to make decisions about something significant that affected us. When the stakes are that high, you have to be on the same page or else it will not work. Thank God, JB and I are committed to making this work.
That following weekend, we made an appointment with the wedding coordinator at the reception hall so JB could get a good look at the place. He loved it as much as I did. We walked away ecstatic that we not only had our date, but we had our reception hall. Things were coming together quite nicely.
It is hard going through this process because after a while, things start to look the same. Your mind is processing the same information over and over and everything becomes redundant, but it is in that moment where you have to ask yourself, "What am I feeling?" If you are not feeling it, then it is not for you. If you like it, but you do not love it, you have to move on. JB and I have to make sure that whatever we decide, whether it is the date, the reception hall, the photographer- whatever- we BOTH love it and our hearts are committed to every single detail. After all, whose wedding is it, anyway? You would be so surprised how easy it is to forget that.
Next up- THE LIST!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Whose Wedding Is It, Anyway? - Chosing the Date
The closer JB and I get to our wedding day, the more real things become. It is one thing to look at things online, but another to go into a store and see it in person. Talking to someone on the phone is nothing like talking to a real live person, whether it be at a bridal store, reception hall, etc. You get the feeling like, "WOW, this is really happening"!
One of the things JB and I wanted to do right away was chose our date. You may think that was quite obvious, but it proved to be a daunting task. I was pretty flexible, but it was difficult working with JB's military schedule. I wanted to get married after he was stationed. JB wanted to get married before. I always wanted a fall wedding, but JB wanted to get married in the spring. Should we get married on a Saturday? What about Sunday? How is Friday? Goodness, for two people who were made for each other, we certainly were not seeing eye to eye on this one.
After going back and forth for some time, JB and I finally settled on a date. We spoke with both of our families to let them know what we decided and the conversations did not go as planned. On JB's side, his brother was graduating the day before our tentative wedding date, so clearly, that was not going to work. My mom just felt the date did not work for her, plain and simple.
We were back to square one.
For the second time, JB and I sat- calendar in hand- going through every single weekend to come up with another date. Just to be sure, we even set up an ALTERNATE date just in case. The date we chose seemed to work well with the folks on both sides. Naturally, we thought we were set... until every venue we spoke to told us that date was booked. Apparently, Saturday is THE day for weddings, so every Saturday within a three-month radius was booked. Good thing JB and I were more prepared; our alternative date seemed to work for most places. Our families (gotta love 'em), not so much. The alternate date we set was a weekday and that did not bode well with the 'rents. The date that worked well for our families did not work with the venues; what worked for the venues did not go over well with our parents. JB and I felt like we could not win. Discouraged and frustrated, we were...
...Back to square one. AGAIN! (BTW- do you see a recurring theme, here?)
This time, we decided we were no longer going to try to figure out a date. We were going to let it just fall on our lap. A good friend told me sometimes when you do not know what to do, just do nothing. So, nothing we did. Then something strange happened. My mother said, why not get married on Month/Date/Year? To which my response was the you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me look coupled with the whachu-talking-bout-willis side-eye. The date that my mother proposed was the INITIAL date we gave them in the first place! All of a sudden, mom could not recall what was the problem with the date initially, but on second thought it was a great idea. In asking JB's parents, you will not believe what happened. They mixed up the brother's graduation date which was a whole month later than they thought, so guess who else thinks the date is a good idea?
While everyone was excited about said date, JB and I could not believe what just took place. We were absolutely floored. Yes, in the end we got what we wanted, but it only took 4 months of back and forth between us and our families. In all this, JB and I learned a series of lessons, the first being that the false opposition you get in the beginning is just that- false. Secondly, sometimes you have to step back and let things fall into place because in the end, it usually does. And lastly, when planning a wedding, you have to constantly ask yourself, whose wedding is it, anyway? In remembering that it is YOUR day and keeping in mind it is impossible to please everyone, the process will go smoother and will be more stress-free.
Next on the to-do list: Venues.
One of the things JB and I wanted to do right away was chose our date. You may think that was quite obvious, but it proved to be a daunting task. I was pretty flexible, but it was difficult working with JB's military schedule. I wanted to get married after he was stationed. JB wanted to get married before. I always wanted a fall wedding, but JB wanted to get married in the spring. Should we get married on a Saturday? What about Sunday? How is Friday? Goodness, for two people who were made for each other, we certainly were not seeing eye to eye on this one.
After going back and forth for some time, JB and I finally settled on a date. We spoke with both of our families to let them know what we decided and the conversations did not go as planned. On JB's side, his brother was graduating the day before our tentative wedding date, so clearly, that was not going to work. My mom just felt the date did not work for her, plain and simple.
We were back to square one.
For the second time, JB and I sat- calendar in hand- going through every single weekend to come up with another date. Just to be sure, we even set up an ALTERNATE date just in case. The date we chose seemed to work well with the folks on both sides. Naturally, we thought we were set... until every venue we spoke to told us that date was booked. Apparently, Saturday is THE day for weddings, so every Saturday within a three-month radius was booked. Good thing JB and I were more prepared; our alternative date seemed to work for most places. Our families (gotta love 'em), not so much. The alternate date we set was a weekday and that did not bode well with the 'rents. The date that worked well for our families did not work with the venues; what worked for the venues did not go over well with our parents. JB and I felt like we could not win. Discouraged and frustrated, we were...
...Back to square one. AGAIN! (BTW- do you see a recurring theme, here?)
This time, we decided we were no longer going to try to figure out a date. We were going to let it just fall on our lap. A good friend told me sometimes when you do not know what to do, just do nothing. So, nothing we did. Then something strange happened. My mother said, why not get married on Month/Date/Year? To which my response was the you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me look coupled with the whachu-talking-bout-willis side-eye. The date that my mother proposed was the INITIAL date we gave them in the first place! All of a sudden, mom could not recall what was the problem with the date initially, but on second thought it was a great idea. In asking JB's parents, you will not believe what happened. They mixed up the brother's graduation date which was a whole month later than they thought, so guess who else thinks the date is a good idea?
While everyone was excited about said date, JB and I could not believe what just took place. We were absolutely floored. Yes, in the end we got what we wanted, but it only took 4 months of back and forth between us and our families. In all this, JB and I learned a series of lessons, the first being that the false opposition you get in the beginning is just that- false. Secondly, sometimes you have to step back and let things fall into place because in the end, it usually does. And lastly, when planning a wedding, you have to constantly ask yourself, whose wedding is it, anyway? In remembering that it is YOUR day and keeping in mind it is impossible to please everyone, the process will go smoother and will be more stress-free.
Next on the to-do list: Venues.
Monday, October 26, 2009
New Series!
I feel like I should have welcome back music...
No? Not so much?
Okay, I guess you are right. Hope everyone out there is doing somewhat well. Me? I have been good these days. I have also been very happy and extremely BUSY!! Planning a wedding is no joke. What is even more is planning your life AFTER the wedding! As you all know, my fiance is in the military and after we get married, we are not sure where he will be stationed. We are pretty sure that everything will work out, however, so no worries. It is just weird, yet exciting how we went from 0-60 in such a short time... But oh well, true love needs no time limits.
During the time you have not heard from me, I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what to do about this blog. I like writing but I have not been able to do much for the past two ... count 'em ... TWO months. I was about to delete the blog all together when a good friend of mine, Rocky, e-mailed me letting me know she loved my blog. Then someone called to tell me they just read the blog and found it HI-LA-RI-OUS! So I said to myself, "Self, what should I do?" And then it comes to me, like an epiphany ...
The blog will remain the same, but instead of telling you what I am upset about in my day-to-day life, which these days is not much (thank you hun!), instead I will blog about what upsets me during the wedding planning process- and trust me, it is DRAMA!
The name of the series will be "Who's Wedding Is It, Anyway?" You will meet a whole set of characters including our wedding coordinator, my father, my mother (especially my mother), my fiance of course and all the people that I meet along the way that have any way, shape or form had any contribution to my special day.
Please stay tuned as I continue to tell you why I'm mad, while trying to figure out, ummm, so whose wedding is it anyway?
'Til next time!
No? Not so much?
Okay, I guess you are right. Hope everyone out there is doing somewhat well. Me? I have been good these days. I have also been very happy and extremely BUSY!! Planning a wedding is no joke. What is even more is planning your life AFTER the wedding! As you all know, my fiance is in the military and after we get married, we are not sure where he will be stationed. We are pretty sure that everything will work out, however, so no worries. It is just weird, yet exciting how we went from 0-60 in such a short time... But oh well, true love needs no time limits.
During the time you have not heard from me, I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what to do about this blog. I like writing but I have not been able to do much for the past two ... count 'em ... TWO months. I was about to delete the blog all together when a good friend of mine, Rocky, e-mailed me letting me know she loved my blog. Then someone called to tell me they just read the blog and found it HI-LA-RI-OUS! So I said to myself, "Self, what should I do?" And then it comes to me, like an epiphany ...
The blog will remain the same, but instead of telling you what I am upset about in my day-to-day life, which these days is not much (thank you hun!), instead I will blog about what upsets me during the wedding planning process- and trust me, it is DRAMA!
The name of the series will be "Who's Wedding Is It, Anyway?" You will meet a whole set of characters including our wedding coordinator, my father, my mother (especially my mother), my fiance of course and all the people that I meet along the way that have any way, shape or form had any contribution to my special day.
Please stay tuned as I continue to tell you why I'm mad, while trying to figure out, ummm, so whose wedding is it anyway?
'Til next time!
Monday, August 31, 2009
She did what?!
I woke up this morning, LATE! A little grumpy, but thanks to my morning radio station, by the time I came into work, I was not as cranky as I thought I would be. I brought in cereal for breakfast, but I was in a turkey-bacon-eggs-and-cheese kinda mood, so I went to the deli where I normally grub in the morning. And then it happened.
::FREEZE::
Have you even been in a situation where you think you know exactly how it is going to go, but by your surprise, it goes totally different? Good, I am not the only one. Back to the story.
::UNFREEZE::
As I am walking to the deli, I see a black woman and I admire her because I think she looks classy, yet simple. I give her the head-to-toe once over and when we make eye contact, she smiles at me. Nothing over the top or too dramatic, just one of those "good morning" smiles that can sometimes be accompanied by a head nod. Of course I smile back, but after that brief encounter, my mind starts racing. How come more black women do not greet each other that way?
Here's why I'm mad:
I do not understand the concept of women tearing each other down, especially black women. If we see a woman staring too hard, we automatically assume the worse. When a black woman sees another woman staring at her, the reflexive thought, "What is she looking at?!" pops into her head. We do not think that the woman (black or white, but mainly black) is admiring our shoes; we do not think that she likes our outfit or thinks our hair is cute. We think she has an eye problem! Why?
How come we do not smile and nod? You see her staring and you KNOW she knows that you know you just caught her staring- so why not smile? Why do we think the worst? This morning's exchange made me decide I am going to do better. I am an attractive woman who is comfortable in her own skin. I should not feel intimidated or threatened by another woman, especially a black woman, because at the end of the day, we are probably in the same boat. I am challenging my black sisters to wear a smile today. See if it does not change how you feel; see if it does not change how someone else feels about you! If you are staring at woman with a beautiful dress, compliment her! That will be one less woman on the street wondering who in the hell are you looking at and why? Who knows, she might surprise you and comment on those fierce shoes you are wearing.
::FREEZE::
Have you even been in a situation where you think you know exactly how it is going to go, but by your surprise, it goes totally different? Good, I am not the only one. Back to the story.
::UNFREEZE::
As I am walking to the deli, I see a black woman and I admire her because I think she looks classy, yet simple. I give her the head-to-toe once over and when we make eye contact, she smiles at me. Nothing over the top or too dramatic, just one of those "good morning" smiles that can sometimes be accompanied by a head nod. Of course I smile back, but after that brief encounter, my mind starts racing. How come more black women do not greet each other that way?
Here's why I'm mad:
I do not understand the concept of women tearing each other down, especially black women. If we see a woman staring too hard, we automatically assume the worse. When a black woman sees another woman staring at her, the reflexive thought, "What is she looking at?!" pops into her head. We do not think that the woman (black or white, but mainly black) is admiring our shoes; we do not think that she likes our outfit or thinks our hair is cute. We think she has an eye problem! Why?
How come we do not smile and nod? You see her staring and you KNOW she knows that you know you just caught her staring- so why not smile? Why do we think the worst? This morning's exchange made me decide I am going to do better. I am an attractive woman who is comfortable in her own skin. I should not feel intimidated or threatened by another woman, especially a black woman, because at the end of the day, we are probably in the same boat. I am challenging my black sisters to wear a smile today. See if it does not change how you feel; see if it does not change how someone else feels about you! If you are staring at woman with a beautiful dress, compliment her! That will be one less woman on the street wondering who in the hell are you looking at and why? Who knows, she might surprise you and comment on those fierce shoes you are wearing.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Baby Mamma's, Concubines, and Hoes...
If that title did not get your attention, then I messed up! This entry is about what you think, but it is not what you think. I just read an article from "the Root", which was very interesting, Confessions of a "Tiny and Toya" Addict. I have never seen the show, nor do I plan to. I saw Tiny accept an award on T.I.'s behalf and that was too much exposure for me.
Regardless of how you feel about the show and the main character, I think something should be said for the author's opening statement:
Admittedly, I was suspicious of news that Tameka “Tiny” Cottle and Antonia “Toya” Carter—concubines of hip-hop royalty, T.I. and Lil Wayne, respectively—were going to have their own reality show on BET: Was this BET’s answer to The Real Housewives of Atlanta? Did we really need to see The Baby Mamas of Bankhead? - Michael Arceneaux
Here's why I'm mad:
The term "concubine" REALLY offended me. No, seriously. It really did. Say what you want about these ladies, but I think of all the hip hop groupies out there, they do not really fit the bill. I do not know much about their personal lives, but from what I do know, these women were not blinded by the celebrity status of these artists and jumped on their coattails. No, these women were behind them from jump street.
Tiny had her own career and fame- no matter how long ago. Say what you will, but Xscape was a good group in the nineties and I think I would be hard pressed to find people who would not agree. Girls, you KNOW you were singing, "kick of your shoes and relax your feet...". Xscape was one the hottest girl groups out there that got us through middle and high school. I have not heard much from her since the group disbanded, but whether T.I was in the picture or not, people will say, "Oh yeah, that's Tiny from Xscape"! Not, "Hmph, that's T.I.'s jump-off". Correction, Tiny is T.I.'s fiancee and I think she at least deserves that respect instead of belittling her to "concubine" status.
Same with Toya. Toya was not famous but was with Lil' Wayne from high school. Remember, Lil' Wayne was in his teens when he first came out, so it should not be a shocker that he would be dating someone around that time too. They had a child and were married. Until now, she has remained silent and in the background- no one even knew she existed, which I think shows the real reason why she was in the relationship- not because she wanted the fame and the fortune, but because Lil' Wayne was her husband. Now she is a "baby mama of Bankhead". Toya is a divorcee, not an ex, but an ex-wife! There is a HUGE difference. One that should be noted.
You may think I am OD-ing and maybe I am, but as an engaged woman, I would hate for someone to refer to me as JB's concubine- which is really the intelligent word for mistress or whore. It is demeaning. Those terms should be saved for the superheads of the industry. No one would EVER call Beyonce Jay-Z's mistress, so why not afford these other women the same respect? Or is it because they are seen as ghetto and a bit classless why they cannot be deemed as such?
What do you think?
Regardless of how you feel about the show and the main character, I think something should be said for the author's opening statement:
Admittedly, I was suspicious of news that Tameka “Tiny” Cottle and Antonia “Toya” Carter—concubines of hip-hop royalty, T.I. and Lil Wayne, respectively—were going to have their own reality show on BET: Was this BET’s answer to The Real Housewives of Atlanta? Did we really need to see The Baby Mamas of Bankhead? - Michael Arceneaux
Here's why I'm mad:
The term "concubine" REALLY offended me. No, seriously. It really did. Say what you want about these ladies, but I think of all the hip hop groupies out there, they do not really fit the bill. I do not know much about their personal lives, but from what I do know, these women were not blinded by the celebrity status of these artists and jumped on their coattails. No, these women were behind them from jump street.
Tiny had her own career and fame- no matter how long ago. Say what you will, but Xscape was a good group in the nineties and I think I would be hard pressed to find people who would not agree. Girls, you KNOW you were singing, "kick of your shoes and relax your feet...". Xscape was one the hottest girl groups out there that got us through middle and high school. I have not heard much from her since the group disbanded, but whether T.I was in the picture or not, people will say, "Oh yeah, that's Tiny from Xscape"! Not, "Hmph, that's T.I.'s jump-off". Correction, Tiny is T.I.'s fiancee and I think she at least deserves that respect instead of belittling her to "concubine" status.
Same with Toya. Toya was not famous but was with Lil' Wayne from high school. Remember, Lil' Wayne was in his teens when he first came out, so it should not be a shocker that he would be dating someone around that time too. They had a child and were married. Until now, she has remained silent and in the background- no one even knew she existed, which I think shows the real reason why she was in the relationship- not because she wanted the fame and the fortune, but because Lil' Wayne was her husband. Now she is a "baby mama of Bankhead". Toya is a divorcee, not an ex, but an ex-wife! There is a HUGE difference. One that should be noted.
You may think I am OD-ing and maybe I am, but as an engaged woman, I would hate for someone to refer to me as JB's concubine- which is really the intelligent word for mistress or whore. It is demeaning. Those terms should be saved for the superheads of the industry. No one would EVER call Beyonce Jay-Z's mistress, so why not afford these other women the same respect? Or is it because they are seen as ghetto and a bit classless why they cannot be deemed as such?
What do you think?
Friday, August 7, 2009
Going to the Chapel...
AND I AM GOING TO GET MARRIED!!! This single ride has been a great experience, one I would not trade in for the world, but boy am I glad it is over! Remember when you were young and you went to the amusement park? And you loved the thrill of the roller coaster? But as you got older, you settled for the the more stable rides? That is what it feels like making the transition from single sister to wedded woman. You remember that thrilling, carefree feeling and you look back with nostalgia, but you accept and embrace another thrilling, yet calmer lifestyle ahead.
Because of this new change, I have been, dare I say, happy (???)!!! When one is in love, they tend to forget about the ho hum drum of everyday life and they pay less attention to the small and petty details that would normally get them upset. I do not know why this happens, but it just does. You are willing to let of go of things you normally would not have. This is also the reason why I changed my schedule. I will be leaving the nest egg soon to start a nest of my own so I would prefer to cherish the time I have left with my family.
But, with all this happiness and love and blah, blah, blah, being the woman that I am, I can (and will) still find a reason to be upset...
Here's why I'm mad:
Why is there such a stark difference in the reaction of men and women when they hear you have gotten engaged? Although women mourn the loss of a member of their single sisterhood, they are still very happy that she has found something better than this devastating dating lifestyle. They rejoice because this means there is hope and maybe they can be next. They are happy because dang it, their girl is happy.
But uh uh, not men. By way of my fiance, I have heard sooo many, "awwww man! Why'd the hell you do that dawg"?! and "Dang... my condolences", said while shaking their head; and this is my absolute favorite, "Man, you mean to tell me you are going to have sex with the same woman for the rest of your life?!?!".
Why do men make it seem like instead of a wedding ceremony, they will be attending a funeral?
Ugh! Spare me the drama. PLEASE!!!
I look at the man I am going to marry and think YES!! I cannot WAIT to wake up to him every single day, while his friends are asking, "dude, are you sure you can wake up to her everyday?!" like I am some kind of troll!! (If you need proof, check the profile.) This is ridiculous. When I tell my girls, we are damned-near next to tears with happiness! I do not expect that reaction from men, but the wagging of the head as if their fellow man is about to step into the temple of doom is a bit much. Someone even said to my fiance, "I don't know whether to congratulate you or give you my condolences". Really, though?!
Men, help me out. What is the issue with settling down for a more stable lifestyle? Are you afraid you are going to lose yourself? That you will have to trade in the Mercedes Benz for a Mercury Villager? Parties for afternoon teas? Football for Desperate Housewives? Please, tell me. I would like to know. Maybe I am the one who needs to worry. Who is to say that the same impending doom you men foresee will not fall on me?! Clue me in because I really would like to know.
Because of this new change, I have been, dare I say, happy (???)!!! When one is in love, they tend to forget about the ho hum drum of everyday life and they pay less attention to the small and petty details that would normally get them upset. I do not know why this happens, but it just does. You are willing to let of go of things you normally would not have. This is also the reason why I changed my schedule. I will be leaving the nest egg soon to start a nest of my own so I would prefer to cherish the time I have left with my family.
But, with all this happiness and love and blah, blah, blah, being the woman that I am, I can (and will) still find a reason to be upset...
Here's why I'm mad:
Why is there such a stark difference in the reaction of men and women when they hear you have gotten engaged? Although women mourn the loss of a member of their single sisterhood, they are still very happy that she has found something better than this devastating dating lifestyle. They rejoice because this means there is hope and maybe they can be next. They are happy because dang it, their girl is happy.
But uh uh, not men. By way of my fiance, I have heard sooo many, "awwww man! Why'd the hell you do that dawg"?! and "Dang... my condolences", said while shaking their head; and this is my absolute favorite, "Man, you mean to tell me you are going to have sex with the same woman for the rest of your life?!?!".
Why do men make it seem like instead of a wedding ceremony, they will be attending a funeral?
Ugh! Spare me the drama. PLEASE!!!
I look at the man I am going to marry and think YES!! I cannot WAIT to wake up to him every single day, while his friends are asking, "dude, are you sure you can wake up to her everyday?!" like I am some kind of troll!! (If you need proof, check the profile.) This is ridiculous. When I tell my girls, we are damned-near next to tears with happiness! I do not expect that reaction from men, but the wagging of the head as if their fellow man is about to step into the temple of doom is a bit much. Someone even said to my fiance, "I don't know whether to congratulate you or give you my condolences". Really, though?!
Men, help me out. What is the issue with settling down for a more stable lifestyle? Are you afraid you are going to lose yourself? That you will have to trade in the Mercedes Benz for a Mercury Villager? Parties for afternoon teas? Football for Desperate Housewives? Please, tell me. I would like to know. Maybe I am the one who needs to worry. Who is to say that the same impending doom you men foresee will not fall on me?! Clue me in because I really would like to know.
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