Like Royalty

I am known by a few names. At my job, they call me by my government; my friends (and now fellow bloggers) call me by my nickname; a select few call me by my line-name, but there is one name that people do not know. Only 8 people in the whole world know me by this name, my Queen* name.
*Can't give out all my aliases!
This moniker was given me by my fellow Queens whom I have known for over 10 years. These women know me inside and out. They know my deepest fears, my crushes, my enemies, even my darkest secrets. Many of you may think that it is not healthy for people to know so much, but to that I say, I know theirs too.

Upon talking to them this week, I realized something very important:

Men SUCK!

Here's why I'm mad:

I am not mad that men suck, they have and always will as far as I am concerned. I am mad that this is a recurring theme amongst women nowadays. Aside from my Queens, other women I have spoken to seem to be having the same problem. And please believe this is not a black woman issue, this transcends color lines. Not all of my friends are Queens per se, but they are queens in their own right. They are beautiful, talented, intelligent, successful, driven, and much more. They are also single.

Of course being single is not a bad thing. It is a period of self-reflection; a time to know yourself thoroughly and treat yourself better, for you will never be in a successful relationship if you do not have yourself and your affairs in order. Being single allows time to meditate and concentrate on things of more importance, things that might have been put aside if you were in a relationship. But if you are feeling like me, my Queens or any of my other friends, this period is lasting waaaaaay too long.

Men, give it up already. If you see and want any of these great women, then man up and step up to the plate. Stop being immature, stop playing the field, stop sipping the milk and buy the whole dang cow already (and women stop giving up the milk!).

I have said previously love of self is most important, but love of and from others is too. Men, we are not asking you to love us, we are asking you to realize that you are dealing with royalty. Queens want nothing more than to pass over the reins to let the right King take his throne, but if you do not heed my advice and continue acting otherwise, we will be forced to demote you to court jester.

Disenfranchised in 2008

My girlfriend is currently oversees doing phenomenal volunteer work as a community and business developer. I will not disclose who or where she is or what group she is volunteering with in order to maintain her identity. However, if you know her personally, then you know who I am referring too.

Even though she is out of the country, we talk quite often via the Internet. We were discussing what was going on here in the United States and the upcoming presidential election. I will not go into details about who or what we were discussing because those are trivial details and not the point of this "Tell 'Em" section.

Here's why I'm mad:

My girlfriend filled out her absentee request ballot almost two months ago and never received her ballot. She has e-mailed the Board of Elections (BOE) in her area and there has been no response. Upon having this conversation, I took it upon myself to get involved. She looked up the necessary information and I made all the phone calls (at $.40 per minute, you owe me!). I called every single number on the website, TWICE and my work returned void. As a matter of fact, one of the numbers did not even work.

As a last resort, I did the only thing I could think of... I called Barack Obama*. The headquarters in that state was on the ball. They sent me the info and phone number of my girlfriend's local BOE, her city councilman/woman, and the Dems/Reps Lawyers Council for that state to make sure her voice would be heard.

*Sidebar- Do not think for a second because I called BO HQ that means she is voting for him. They were the only people I could think of to aid in this situation. Furthermore, there was no way I was calling anyone from McCain's camp.

In 2008, you would never think people would still be disenfranchised. No matter who she votes for, she should have the right to cast her vote. She should not have to go through all the rigmarole of trying to take part in an American constitutional right!

As of today, I still have not reached anyone from any of the numbers that I have called. I decided to give it three tries before I call the lawyers council.

Stay tuned to see what happens...

Christians, Athiests, Whatever...

I attend Mountaintop Christ Chapel which is a phenomenal church. I think our Pastor Rob Seagers is nothing short of amazing. Definitely an awesome man of God. Besides the fact that I know I am going to learn something knew and have my faith renewed every time I attend MTCC, I go back every Sunday (well, almost ever Sunday) because the Mountaintop family is almost out of a story book. I do not think I have ever seen a more faithful, compassionate, caring and loving group of people.

Don't get it twisted, my church is not perfect, but that is what makes them great- they do not strive for perfection; they strive to be more like Christ. Sometimes when I see them, I am almost ashamed standing next to them because my faith seems so small while theirs seems so big. Remember.... almost.

Here's why I'm mad:

I think as Christians, we have a tendency to judge those who are not like us. We get on our mighty Christian high horse and preach to the "lost" the errors of their ways, talking to, while talking down. I do not have the perfect answer on how to spread the word about Christ and his love, but I am absolutely sure this is not it. Just because someone is different does not give you the right or the reason to judge them. As Christians, I think it is important to remember to be tolerant.



"Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye". Matthew 7:5

It is okay to be a Jesus freak and to profess Him as your homeboy, but if you claim to know Him like you say you do, then you will understand that love is the first key element when dealing with others. With love comes tolerance and understanding... of everyone because at the end of the day, we really are all God's children.

Fashion Forward

Ladies, ladies, ladies! I do not work for Vogue, Elle or InStyle Magazine. I am not the new Chanel, Vera Wang, or Donna Karen. The only person I can style is myself, because I know what works for me. If I had to define my sense of style, I would put it somewhere between prissy and chic. I prefer pearls over bling, pumps over pumas and button-ups over your plain white tee. I am either really dressed up, or really dressed down.

I will not ascribe to being a style guru (see Snaps! for that), but there are a few fashion faux pas that really annoy me.

Here's why I'm mad:

Black stockings and peep toe shoes- are you serious?

Dark blue jeans, black shoes- depending on your top, go with brown... ALWAYS.

Stockings and sandals- Unless you are over the age of 50, big no-no!

Scarves, jackets and flip flops- If you need a jacket AND scarf, chances are you need shoes.

Panty lines- NEVER a good idea! If you don't like thongs, try boyshorts.

If I can see your underwear peeking out of your jeans, it's time to get a belt. If you are wearing a belt, it's time to get new underwear.

I am not the one to tell you what is in season or out. I wear pretty much whatever the hell I want, but there are just some things that should never be done.

Dress for the weather.

Dress for the occasion.

Dress for success.

Whatever you do, make sure you're DRESSED!

Hair today...

I love Leatha, the only woman I trust to cut, style, and manage my mane. I love her so much, I travel to New York City every other month for her to handle my biz. She is not like other hair-dressers who do not trust you enough to do your own hair, so they constantly make sure you come back to them for all your hair needs. Nope, not my hair-dresser. Leatha gives me the tools I need to control my luscious locks so when I see her in two months, she does not have to do damage control.

Another thing, Leatha is my DAWG! We can talk about any and everything- God, men, children, music, whatever. She also highlights as a comedian. Whenever I see Leatha, I know she is going to give me one. I saw her last month and of course she did not let me down.

Cue: "No Air" by Jordan Sparks and Chris Brown

Leatha: "Tell me how you gonna weave with no hair!"

Great question. How are you gonna weave with no hair?!

Here's why I'm mad-

Weave is a wonderful invention... when done right.

If your kitchen ain't cooked up right, smack your hair stylist. I am tired of women walking around with weaves that 1- do not match their hair color or 2- do not match their hair texture. If I can tell it's a weave, your weave is not right. If I can visibly see tracks, your weave is not right. If I know where your hair ends and the weave begins, your weave is not right.

Women, proceed with caution when going to the Korean store to by your favorite Yaki. Don't go with what is necessarily tried and true. Go with what works for you and your 'do.

Like Leatha says, "If your hair isn't becoming to you, then you should be coming to me".

Fat Girls Need Love Too...

...Or do they? I'm a slim sistah. I have always been slim and to be honest, I would like to gain a few pounds, but that is my personal problem. Lately though, it seems every woman has a personal problem when it comes to weight. Most women however would prefer to lose a few instead of gain a couple.

Plus sized women have done a world of difference in shaking up the mainstream's perception of beauty. Beautiful, buxom and bodacious women like Queen Latifah and Mo'Nique have been on the forefront of this movement, proclaiming to women that big IS beautiful and they are absolutely right! Yes, I am slim, but I still do not fit into America's perception of what is beautiful. When you pick up the magazines, you see beach blond women who are 5'9, with long hair, a perfect nose, the perfect mouth, and they weigh a whopping 110 lbs. That is how much I weigh...

...and I am 5'2.

Slowly, an APB is being sent out that this is not the typical woman and we all come in different shapes, shades and sizes. (Shout out to ANTM Cycle 10 winner!!). It does not matter how big or small you are, just that you feel content with who you are in your own skin. If you are NOT happy with who you are in your own skin, then do something about it. If you would like to gain weight, do something about it. If you would like to lose weight, do something about it.

Here's why I'm mad:

Have you noticed that most of the people in the gym are SLIM! I do not EVER want to hear a big woman complain about her weight, yet still she refuses to exercise. I do not want to hear a big woman complain about her weight, while she is downing a super-sized Big Mac and a diet Coke. I refuse to listen to a big woman complain about her weight, while she has a drawer filled with cookies and chocolate.

If you love who you are, big or small, then more power to you. But if you have a problem with your size, do not do all the things contradictory to the goal you are trying to attain.

I am not one to tell you how to deal with your weight issues. Hell, I am still trying to deal with my own. Yes, we all need love, but love of self is most important. Whoever you are and whatever you do, do what is right for you and your body. Eat right and exercise. Above all, stay smart, stay healthy.

PS- and stay away from a McDonald's.

Coon Juice

Sorry for the delay but this displeased diva has been under the weather. Not much has made me mad, but then again, I have been too worried about my health to care. HOWEVA, through the headache, the earache, AND the viral infection, I found enough anger within me to comment on the following picture.

I love comics. They not only provide humor, but I think their social and political satire is spot on (see Boondocks, Doonesbury). I also love Cagle's Index. They provide a hodgepodge of political comics from all around the world that usually touch on the controversial subject du jour. For the most part, they are pretty spot on, but every once in awhile, they are offensive and borderline disrespectful.

Here's why I'm mad:



Gary McCoy, are you serious?!

Roasts!

Here's why I'm mad:

I'm actually not. Much needed comic relief for the masses.

They are all approx 7 minutes each, but totally worth every minute.

Click Here

and here

here too

and then here.

Courtesy of AOL and YouTube.

Get it together!

I love the National Football League. I really do! Where else do you see handsome, built, tough men running and fighting and kicking and just looking good. Oh yeah, I like the game too. I do not have a favorite team, nor do I have a favorite player, but there are teams that I MUST see! I.E.- the Washington Redskins and the Dallas Cowboys. I do not care what anyone says but Clinton Portis, Santana Moss, and Terrell Owens are beasts on the field - period. Terrell Owens is my favorite of the three. He adds a certain je ne sais quoi to the game. Always dramatic, always funny, always crying, always... something.

Whenever I watch any of their games, I know these three players are going to deliver. Whenever they give press conferences after the games, I know they will deliver there too. What I appreciate most about them however is what I do not hear off the field. Cue Adam Bernard Jones, also known as Pacman. Whenever I hear anything about him, I know he is going to deliver as well. It is a shame he never delivers anything good.

Here's why I am mad-

Why is it that every time I hear about Pacman, I never hear about what he does ON the field, I hear about what he does OFF. Pacman has become such a nuisance to the NFL that he has to have 24 hour, 7 days a week bodyguard detail. And not just one bodyguard, but FOUR!

Why?

Not to protect Pacman from other people, but to protect people from him. Most importantly, to protect Pacman from HIMSELF!

For his latest run-in, and there have been many, Pacman got into an altercation with the very people paid to protect him. What is Jerry Jones going to do? What is Roger Goodell going to do? If I were in any of their positions, I would suspend him indefinitely from the NFL. Again. Pacman has gotten chance after chance to get himself together; he has fought women, men, you name it and the NFL still lets him come back. The Titans were all too happy to give him up to the Cowboys. When a team does that, you should wonder what kind of baggage you will be dealing with.

Pacman Jones has made it very clear that he is battling with a few inner demons and he needs help. Serious help. When God gives you an amazing talent, it is your job to hone that skill and capitalize on it. Pacman is doing the complete opposite. It is time he get kicked to the curb and for good.

Ode to Barbara- Representin'!

Do I speak for you? Do you speak for me?! The answer to both of these questions is not an easy yes or no. The better response would be "sometimes" or "it depends".

If I am the only black person a white man or woman will ever meet, all black people they meet here on in, will be judged by whatever standard I set. Another black person will either meet, exceed or sourly lower those expectations.

No matter what I do, I represent my race. Every day, all day. Not because I have to, nor because I chose to, but because I just do. When I use slang, people, white or otherwise, are going to label me. When I talk properly, they label me then too. Whether we like to believe it or not, this responsibility of carrying the weight of the race on our shoulders was thrust upon us. Since the Booker T's, Carter G's, W.E.B's and so forth (that just happened to rhyme by the way). So when my brother, your cousin, Shaniqua, Aisha, or even you step out on the street, your actions reflect on me!

Here's why I'm mad:

When I see a group of black teenagers step onto the train, the store, the restaurant, or wherever, I worry. I cannot help but think, I wonder what do these white people think of them. What is worse is when they open their mouth and nothing but foul language comes out. They say nigga this and nigga that, they are dressed horrendously, their hair is not combed, and if it is, barely. I am all for self-expression, but not one that depicts you negatively. I am all for finding yourself and defining who you are, but you should not allow yourself to fit into the typical ghetto-girl/boy stereotype. Besides the fact that it is not fair to me, it is not fair to you.

These teenagers might be A-students and should not be judged, but the world is not perfect. You will be judged whether you like it or not. Do not make it easy for people to right you off as another menace. Do not make them feel like Dave Chappelle: "shoulda never gave you niggas money"! Do not give them the chance to make a mockery of you and think you were not trained to act appropriately.

Black people, YOUNG black people, do not sell yourself short. When you do, you sell the race short.

We represent each other, so let us work on killing these stereotypes. The future of our race thrives on it and depends on it!

Choices, Choices, CHOICES!

I love the Huffington Post. I do not read it every day, but when I do, they never cease to amaze me. They are right up there with Slate (favorite commentary Web Site), CNN (favorite news channel), and Newsweek (favorite magazine - just mailed in my subscription today!!). I saw a PSA ad on Huffingtonpost.com that I felt I must share.

I do not believe in abortion, but I believe in a woman's right to chose. I have it said before, and I will say it again, I do not like McCain, but I could care less about him. It is that Sarah Palin I am worried about. When victims have to order their own rape kit in the state of Alaska (don't believe me?), what kind of precedence do you think she will set for the rest of the United States?

Women, Beware. Be aware. Be afraid. Very afraid. If you are not, then check out what this little girl (that's right, LITTLE GIRL) has to say.

Road Rage

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem so, here goes: I have road rage. Not a minor case, but a full blown addiction. My road rage goes beyond the occasional honking of the horn. I blast the hell out of that sucker! I scream in my car as if the person can hear me, I slow down for people who find it cool to tail me and I tail those who are going WAY below the speed limit (BTW- it is NOT acceptable for you to drive 40 in a 55 unless you have your hazards on and it's a thunder/hail/snow storm).

I will freely admit that some things happen on the road that are completely my fault. For instance, yesterday I looked at my passenger seat for a second and when I looked up, I realized I was too close for comfort to the car in front of me and SLAMMED on my brakes, causing the guy behind me to slam on his. OK, MY BAD!!! He deserved to curse me out for that. But there are things that totally grind my gears that make me want to run someone over. This morning is the perfect example.

I am a firm believer in the right of the pedestrian. Shoot, until a few years ago, I used to be one! Jay-walking was my favorite past time as well as standing on the yellow lines. However, not if it was going to get me killed. If I have the light, you best believe, I WILL go! I work in Washington, D.C. and they have the coolest thing. The crosswalks don't just have the regular signs that tell you to walk or stay, they also have timers that tell you how much longer you have before the light changes. Once that clock says zero, my foot is already off my brake. Cue the random white girl who decides to WALTZ across the street while I have the green! Run, girl! I honk my horn and she doesn't as much as look in my direction, which further pisses me off. She persists in walking gingerly across the street, as I resist the urge to mash out in my sapphire blue Honda and run her behind over and keep driving with no remorse.

Pedestrians do have the right-of-way, but only when the light for drivers is red. Once it says green, the cars have the right to do what they were meant to do- drive. So for all you people out there who walk, don't come in front of my car. I was nice once, I am not so sure I will be that nice again. If your legs mean anything to you, then run!

Obama Y'all!

As many of you know, we are nearing the 2008 Election for the coveted and most revered job in American politics- the mad dash for the White House. There are a total of five (5) people on the ballot, Ralph Nader (Independent), Cynthia McKinney (Green, she's also African American), Bob Barr (Libertarian), and the two front-runners, John McCain (Republican) and Barack Obama (Democrat). Last night was the last of the four debates, three if you only count the presidential debates, and McCain came out swinging! McCain knew this was his last attempt to show the American people that he was more capable than "that one", who has been sprinting past him in the polls in recent weeks. I think McCain had a good tactic to come out guns a'blazing, ready to defend his issues and take away some of the lead from his opponent.

Here's why I'm mad- his execution was terrible!

McCain sounded like a grown BABY crying about the fact that Obama spent more money than he did, he cried that Obama did not defend him against a certain Senator's negative comments, he cried that he did not get the ten town hall meetings that he felt he rightfully deserved, then he cried, cried and cried some more.

Frankly, I could care less about how much money Obama and his campaign makes. As a matter of fact, my father contributed to his campaign as well (guess you know who we're supporting in my house). What matters is will my parents still have their nest egg when they are ready to retire? Will I be able to afford graduate and/or law school if and when I decide to apply? Will my brother be able to afford college? Will homeowners afford to LIVE in a home? Will AIG stop going on vacations (that post is coming soon -TRUST)?! These are the things that matter to me and most Americans.

Quite frankly, Ayers is fruitless; so is ACORN. That is not to say that Ayers should not be condemned for his acts or that a full investigation should not be held to delve into ACORN's alleged shady dealings. But these are small ripples, not in a big pond, but in the ocean! Using his logic, I should hold Johnny Mac accountable for every thriving or failed friendship, every minor association, or every group he's ever joined.

McCain- get over yourself. And here's a tip- drop out of the race. OBAMA Y'ALL!!