Expectations. We all have them, as we should. Expectations, depending on the bar in which they are set, prevent us from dealing with, listening to, dating and becoming friends with mediocrity. I expect my man to be fine. I expect my man to have a degree. I expect to have intelligent conversation with my peers. I expect to be mentally stimulated. I expect people to be who they say they are.
I do not just expect things of others. I expect a lot from myself. I will not lower my standards for others if I set the bar high for myself. I expect to graduate with another degree. I expect to be successful. I expect to NEVER settle for anything less than what I am worth.
Here's why I'm mad:
People have drastically lowered their expectations with the music industry. I am still trying to figure out who is Soulja Boy, Plies, and all these random artist with the sir name "Lil" and why they have record deals. I do not expect to be someone's bust it baby. I do not expect some man to all of a sudden become superman when he is with me. If you think I will buy the please excuse my hands line, then you must not have expected the slap that is sure to follow.
Now, I am not perfect. I have gotten silly and even walked it out a few times, but for the most part, I will not subject myself to tomfoolery. I mean really, the birdwalk?! Is this what is hot in the streets? If so, WHY?! And who comes up with this stuff?!
We need to expect more from not only ourselves, but these artists, who whether we like it or not, represent us. They are what people see when they turn on the TV. They are what people hear when they turn on their radio.
If these artists do not expect much from themselves, then maybe I am wrong for expecting anything of them.
::shrugs::
Someone has to.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
I am a Hater
Or so I have been told. I was watching the AMAs with my family on Sunday and for the most part, it was pretty good. I especially loved the last performance by Alicia Keys, featuring Queen Latifah and Kathleen Battle. I missed the Jonas Brothers and Beyonce, but I am pretty sure I did not miss much (I believe if you have seen one Beyonce performance, you have seen them all).
For the most part, everyone who won, deserved it. I do not think A.Keys, as much as I love her, should have won the first award she received for best pop/rock album. Since when is A.Keys pop or rock?
Anyway, all in all, it was a good night... Until I got into it with my family. The argument ended with my mother telling me, if I do not have anything good to say, then I should shut my mouth, which I did, right before I out of the room, fuming (she apologized later).
Here's why I'm mad:
I, like everyone else, am entitled to my opinions. I do not have to like or support all these people who have record deals. Just because a singer or artist is popular does not mean I too must join in with the opinion of the masses. I am not, nor have I ever been a fan of Beyonce, Rihanna, Brandy, Ashanti, or any of these other main street artists. That does not mean that I do not respect their talent (except for Rihanna who I feel does not have much, and Ashanti who does not have any), it just means that they are not my style.
In voicing my opinions on various artists, my family deemed me a hater. Oh well, fine by me. I will continue to not like Beyonce or Rihanna or whomever else. The people who I do like, I support. I am a picky eater. I am a choosy lover. And I am very particular about my music. People may not like the artists that I am fond of (Ne-Yo, Jazmine Sullivan, Sara Bareilles, Robin Thicke, etc.), but I would not venture to call them haters. The artists I like just are not their cup of tea. And I am fine with that.
If you feel because I do not like certain artists then I am a hater, fine go ahead. I will wear that hat proudly if it represents my refusal to lower my standards where music is concerned. I will continue to support artists who actually have talent, appreciate and take time to hone their craft.
You should probably think about doing the same.
For the most part, everyone who won, deserved it. I do not think A.Keys, as much as I love her, should have won the first award she received for best pop/rock album. Since when is A.Keys pop or rock?
Anyway, all in all, it was a good night... Until I got into it with my family. The argument ended with my mother telling me, if I do not have anything good to say, then I should shut my mouth, which I did, right before I out of the room, fuming (she apologized later).
Here's why I'm mad:
I, like everyone else, am entitled to my opinions. I do not have to like or support all these people who have record deals. Just because a singer or artist is popular does not mean I too must join in with the opinion of the masses. I am not, nor have I ever been a fan of Beyonce, Rihanna, Brandy, Ashanti, or any of these other main street artists. That does not mean that I do not respect their talent (except for Rihanna who I feel does not have much, and Ashanti who does not have any), it just means that they are not my style.
In voicing my opinions on various artists, my family deemed me a hater. Oh well, fine by me. I will continue to not like Beyonce or Rihanna or whomever else. The people who I do like, I support. I am a picky eater. I am a choosy lover. And I am very particular about my music. People may not like the artists that I am fond of (Ne-Yo, Jazmine Sullivan, Sara Bareilles, Robin Thicke, etc.), but I would not venture to call them haters. The artists I like just are not their cup of tea. And I am fine with that.
If you feel because I do not like certain artists then I am a hater, fine go ahead. I will wear that hat proudly if it represents my refusal to lower my standards where music is concerned. I will continue to support artists who actually have talent, appreciate and take time to hone their craft.
You should probably think about doing the same.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Friend or Foe?
A good, well maybe not so good, friend of mine told me off the other day. As a matter of fact, the more I think about him and our friendship, I realize that is all he does. After we go through the motions of the how are you and what have you been up to part of the conversation and get to the meat of it all, he always ends up telling me about myself. Our most recent conversation started with him telling me, "face it Kat... you're full of [insert curse word here]", to which I lovingly responded by referring to him as a bastard.
Who needs enemies when you have friends like that, right?
Weirdly enough, that is what I appreciate about him and so many of my other friends- our ability to tell each other how we really feel. After all, who else will? Who will tell you when you are right or wrong? Or talk sense into you when you are being overly emotional and downright irrational? Encourage you and give you the strength to fight your battles, but also tell you when to put your armor down?
Here's why I'm mad:
I cannot stand people who are afraid to tell their "friend" the truth. If you have to mince your words, then what is the point of your relationship? If someone is your tried and true friend, that means not only will they fight FOR you, but they will also fight WITH you. We are humans, so it is understandable when we get upset if someone hurts our feelings, even if it is a friend. However, we should not become too sensitive or take offense too quickly. If your friends cannot tell you the truth or be honest with you, then who can?
My girlfriends can (and do) look me in the face all the time and tell me when I am acting up or when to calm my attitude down. They also inquire about the girl looking at me from across the room and if I need help settling a problem. THIS IS WHAT WE DO! It is what we have always done, because in essence, that is what friendship is.
So the next time he calls me to tell me I am full of you-know-what or comment about whatever it is I am doing wrong in my life, I will probably call him a bastard again, tell him to shut up, point out his many imperfections (and there are many) and go on with the conversation, as with all my other countless friends who tell me the truth about myself. I will, well, maybe, take heed and act accordingly, then wait patiently for it to be my turn to return the favor.
Who needs enemies when you have friends like that, right?
Weirdly enough, that is what I appreciate about him and so many of my other friends- our ability to tell each other how we really feel. After all, who else will? Who will tell you when you are right or wrong? Or talk sense into you when you are being overly emotional and downright irrational? Encourage you and give you the strength to fight your battles, but also tell you when to put your armor down?
Here's why I'm mad:
I cannot stand people who are afraid to tell their "friend" the truth. If you have to mince your words, then what is the point of your relationship? If someone is your tried and true friend, that means not only will they fight FOR you, but they will also fight WITH you. We are humans, so it is understandable when we get upset if someone hurts our feelings, even if it is a friend. However, we should not become too sensitive or take offense too quickly. If your friends cannot tell you the truth or be honest with you, then who can?
My girlfriends can (and do) look me in the face all the time and tell me when I am acting up or when to calm my attitude down. They also inquire about the girl looking at me from across the room and if I need help settling a problem. THIS IS WHAT WE DO! It is what we have always done, because in essence, that is what friendship is.
So the next time he calls me to tell me I am full of you-know-what or comment about whatever it is I am doing wrong in my life, I will probably call him a bastard again, tell him to shut up, point out his many imperfections (and there are many) and go on with the conversation, as with all my other countless friends who tell me the truth about myself. I will, well, maybe, take heed and act accordingly, then wait patiently for it to be my turn to return the favor.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
WeTV
It has been a while but your favorite displeased diva is back and I have lots to be angry about, so much so that I do not know where to start!
While shooting the breeze this weekend, I watched Bridezilla. You know the show. For those of you who do not, Bridezilla chronicles the planning process of a bride-to-be and her transformation to, yup, you guessed it, a Bridezilla!
This is the day most women dream about. As a self-professed diva, I can understand why many women become Bridezillas. The moment you have been waiting for, for what seems like all your life, has finally arrived, so you want everything to be perfect. Unfortunately, it at times comes at the cost of hurting people's feelings and taking part in rude, disrespectful and egregious behaviour.
That brings me to the meat of this post.
Here's why I'm mad:
Woman number 1, from Texas, decided to have a wedding that served fried chicken. Stereotypical black dish, but I am not the one getting married. She had no problem telling all the patrons she visited, including the baker and the winery, to make sure the cake and drinks went "with fried chicken". Classless behavior number 1.
For her first dance with her husband, she did the two step, dropped it like it's hot, bent down low, touched her toes, while her groom was tapping it from the back.
Classless behavior number 2.
While meeting with the cake decorators, she asked if they could make a cake in the shape of a vagina, to symbolize to her husband that that was his last piece of "p___".
Classless behavior number 3.
There were plenty more classless moments, but the last one took the proverbial cake (and no, not the one in the shape of a vagina).
Honorable mention- she and her husband met in the club. Upon leaving, he "grabbed [her] arm" and said to her, "you got a nice ass" and they have been dating ever since. How romantic.
Woman number 2, I cannot remember where she was from, did not have many mishaps save for one. She was a plus-sized bride- absolutely nothing wrong with that- who bought her dress months before the wedding. Thanksgiving came and left, as did Christmas and she gained holiday pounds. I am quite sure you know where I am heading with this. Of course she could no longer fit into her wedding gown. Her solution? Instead of LOSING weight to fit into her dress, she asks her parents to buy her a whole new one. If anyone knows anything about wedding dresses, they run upwards of about $1000. It can cost you more depending on your alterations.
I know this is your special day, but are you serious?! I am not mad at this woman for gaining weight. It happens, but is another dress worth you putting yourself and your family in debt in order to pay for your wedding?
Weddings are supposed to be classy, emotional and spiritual occasions. It should not be turned into anything less. You can be a Bridezilla, but is it worth losing your dignity, your friends and your self-respect? Is it worth losing your life savings, putting a second mortgage on your house and basically selling your soul (and all your worldly possessions) to the Devil for ONE day?
I do not think so. If you do, then congratulations. Call me after the divorce.
While shooting the breeze this weekend, I watched Bridezilla. You know the show. For those of you who do not, Bridezilla chronicles the planning process of a bride-to-be and her transformation to, yup, you guessed it, a Bridezilla!
This is the day most women dream about. As a self-professed diva, I can understand why many women become Bridezillas. The moment you have been waiting for, for what seems like all your life, has finally arrived, so you want everything to be perfect. Unfortunately, it at times comes at the cost of hurting people's feelings and taking part in rude, disrespectful and egregious behaviour.
That brings me to the meat of this post.
Here's why I'm mad:
Woman number 1, from Texas, decided to have a wedding that served fried chicken. Stereotypical black dish, but I am not the one getting married. She had no problem telling all the patrons she visited, including the baker and the winery, to make sure the cake and drinks went "with fried chicken". Classless behavior number 1.
For her first dance with her husband, she did the two step, dropped it like it's hot, bent down low, touched her toes, while her groom was tapping it from the back.
Classless behavior number 2.
While meeting with the cake decorators, she asked if they could make a cake in the shape of a vagina, to symbolize to her husband that that was his last piece of "p___".
Classless behavior number 3.
There were plenty more classless moments, but the last one took the proverbial cake (and no, not the one in the shape of a vagina).
Honorable mention- she and her husband met in the club. Upon leaving, he "grabbed [her] arm" and said to her, "you got a nice ass" and they have been dating ever since. How romantic.
Woman number 2, I cannot remember where she was from, did not have many mishaps save for one. She was a plus-sized bride- absolutely nothing wrong with that- who bought her dress months before the wedding. Thanksgiving came and left, as did Christmas and she gained holiday pounds. I am quite sure you know where I am heading with this. Of course she could no longer fit into her wedding gown. Her solution? Instead of LOSING weight to fit into her dress, she asks her parents to buy her a whole new one. If anyone knows anything about wedding dresses, they run upwards of about $1000. It can cost you more depending on your alterations.
I know this is your special day, but are you serious?! I am not mad at this woman for gaining weight. It happens, but is another dress worth you putting yourself and your family in debt in order to pay for your wedding?
Weddings are supposed to be classy, emotional and spiritual occasions. It should not be turned into anything less. You can be a Bridezilla, but is it worth losing your dignity, your friends and your self-respect? Is it worth losing your life savings, putting a second mortgage on your house and basically selling your soul (and all your worldly possessions) to the Devil for ONE day?
I do not think so. If you do, then congratulations. Call me after the divorce.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
First Family
This edition of Tell 'Em was inspired by my girl Afrifa who said, "I was waiting for an Obama post i knew u would be on it early.." I am actually a little late, but bare with me.
Yesterday was a historic moment on many levels. Barack Obama, an African-American, was elected by a landslide as the 44th President of the United States. I am happy and overwhelmed that I was able to see him the day before he won this prestigious title. I am beside myself that I was apart of living history. When they announced that Senator Obama won the presidency, a wave of excitement rushed through me.
In hindsight, I do not recall entertaining the idea of a Black man becoming the President of the United States. I remember hearing about Jesse Jackson's run for office and was old enough to see Al Sharpton do the same, but it just was not quite right. Neither of them were the right men for the job.
Enter Barack Obama who was and is on the right side of history. The stage was set and the moment was right. Not only that, he proved himself a valid and qualified candidate. Senator Obama is the President-Elect of the United States of America and rightfully so.
It is important that we remember who and where we are on the side of history. No matter who you voted for, you will be able to tell your children and their children that you witnessed history and you were apart of it. If for no other reason, for that you should be proud.
Here's why I'm mad:
Ida B. Wells, W.E.B. Dubois, Martin Luther King, Jr., Coretta Scott King, Malcolm X, Marvin Gaye, Barbara Jordan, Esther Rolle, Richard Pryor, Bebe Moore Campbell, Ossie Davis, Gerald Lavert, Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes, and more importantly, Madelyn "Toot" Dunham are not alive to see this day.
I wonder what they would have said and how they would have felt today...
Yesterday was a historic moment on many levels. Barack Obama, an African-American, was elected by a landslide as the 44th President of the United States. I am happy and overwhelmed that I was able to see him the day before he won this prestigious title. I am beside myself that I was apart of living history. When they announced that Senator Obama won the presidency, a wave of excitement rushed through me.
In hindsight, I do not recall entertaining the idea of a Black man becoming the President of the United States. I remember hearing about Jesse Jackson's run for office and was old enough to see Al Sharpton do the same, but it just was not quite right. Neither of them were the right men for the job.
Enter Barack Obama who was and is on the right side of history. The stage was set and the moment was right. Not only that, he proved himself a valid and qualified candidate. Senator Obama is the President-Elect of the United States of America and rightfully so.
It is important that we remember who and where we are on the side of history. No matter who you voted for, you will be able to tell your children and their children that you witnessed history and you were apart of it. If for no other reason, for that you should be proud.
Here's why I'm mad:
Ida B. Wells, W.E.B. Dubois, Martin Luther King, Jr., Coretta Scott King, Malcolm X, Marvin Gaye, Barbara Jordan, Esther Rolle, Richard Pryor, Bebe Moore Campbell, Ossie Davis, Gerald Lavert, Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes, and more importantly, Madelyn "Toot" Dunham are not alive to see this day.
I wonder what they would have said and how they would have felt today...
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Spell Check
Everyone has pet peeves, a habit, a sound, a thing that just annoys you to no end. I have many, all of which I have not yet pinpointed. Some of my annoyances have already been highlighted in previous posts, but this one- this peeve is the one that takes the cake. This peeve brings out the snob in me. This peeve makes my mother think I am being ridiculous and that she has a snobby monster on her hands, which is true but that is neither here nor there.
Here's why I'm mad:
TYPOS!!!!!!!!! ARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!! We have all committed this error, including myself, but it is one that we should try to avoid at all costs, especially for magazines, newspapers, blogs, mailings, letters, memos, etc. that are going to be widely circulated.
I once received a wedding invitation with an error. I was livid! That was when I realized how much I loathed typos. My mom thought I was being absurd and throwing around my snobby attitude and elite education. I, on the other hand, think my distaste is completely justified. Typing on the computer should be easy because of that wonderful F7 button. That is the spell check shortcut for those of you who do not know.
These errors stick out to me like sore thumbs and they should stick out to you too. When having casual conversation with friends over IM, there is no need for a panic attack over the occasional word mishap. However, when writing, I don't know, let us say a news article or blog perhaps, read, re-read, then spell check. After that, read again for extra measure.
Your, you're, there, their, they're, hear, hair, here, where, wear, we're, its, it's
Is vs. Are - Rule of thumb: He is, they are, I am.
Be careful with your tenses and know when to use singular vs. plural.
Taking these small steps will make you sound a lot more intelligent and make it easier for others, like me, to read your work.
If you need a refresher course, take an English class or go to someone who will edit your papers for you, but by all means, get help. Your writing deserves it. My brain and my eyes do too.
Here's why I'm mad:
TYPOS!!!!!!!!! ARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!! We have all committed this error, including myself, but it is one that we should try to avoid at all costs, especially for magazines, newspapers, blogs, mailings, letters, memos, etc. that are going to be widely circulated.
I once received a wedding invitation with an error. I was livid! That was when I realized how much I loathed typos. My mom thought I was being absurd and throwing around my snobby attitude and elite education. I, on the other hand, think my distaste is completely justified. Typing on the computer should be easy because of that wonderful F7 button. That is the spell check shortcut for those of you who do not know.
These errors stick out to me like sore thumbs and they should stick out to you too. When having casual conversation with friends over IM, there is no need for a panic attack over the occasional word mishap. However, when writing, I don't know, let us say a news article or blog perhaps, read, re-read, then spell check. After that, read again for extra measure.
Your, you're, there, their, they're, hear, hair, here, where, wear, we're, its, it's
Is vs. Are - Rule of thumb: He is, they are, I am.
Be careful with your tenses and know when to use singular vs. plural.
Taking these small steps will make you sound a lot more intelligent and make it easier for others, like me, to read your work.
If you need a refresher course, take an English class or go to someone who will edit your papers for you, but by all means, get help. Your writing deserves it. My brain and my eyes do too.
Pandemonium Pt. 2
We look up and we see an airplane that is almost too close and we are wondering to ourselves, OMG, is that the speaker?! If so, why are they just now arriving?! Then we realize it is absurd because where would the plane land? So now we are back to waiting and listening to the filler music until it is time.
At this point, my knees are giving in a bit. My back and legs hurt from standing so long (it is now 10PM). I have been craning my neck to see above the 80,000 people in front of me, so that hurts too. I cannot wait to go home and pop an aspirin. Wait, that seems too weak- I need vicodin for this one.
I am now mad at myself because I am being insensitive. I have been standing for a while, but I am imagining how the speaker must feel. If any one has a right to be tired, it is them. I suck it up and I deal. I also remember where I am, not physically, but historically. In this place and time, I do not want to be anywhere else.
It is 10:30 and Mark Warner comes on. He is then followed by Governor Tim Kaine. FINALLY, the moment we have been waiting for arrives. Barack Obama walks out and boy is the crowd "fired up!" I cannot see him very well, after all I am in the back and there are 80,000 people in front of me. Seeing him is of no consequence however. I can hear his voice. I can hear the dynamic influence he has on these people, including me. I can hear why he packs out stadiums wherever he goes. I can feel the intensity and the electricity that crackles through the crowd, which by this time, has reached 87,000. I am pretty sure the 7,000 were all behind me.
When Senator Obama concludes his speech, it is around 11:10. It is late; it is past children's bedtime and people have work and or class the next day. Yet, there is still an excitement and fervor that lingers.
It is time to go home and leaving is worse than arriving. The police block off all exits to ensure that Sen. Obama has left safely. You can see now more so than ever that the crowd estimate was pretty accurate. We walk back the mile and a half to our vehicle and we make our way home. It is 12:30AM when we walk into the house. We are tired, hungry and hurting, but it was all worth it.
Today I woke up at 6AM to wrap things up and hopefully garner a win in the state of Virginia for Senator Obama.
Today I woke up feeling particularly BLUE.
Today I woke up hopeful.
Today I woke up to vote.
Today, do your part.
Today, I did mine.
At this point, my knees are giving in a bit. My back and legs hurt from standing so long (it is now 10PM). I have been craning my neck to see above the 80,000 people in front of me, so that hurts too. I cannot wait to go home and pop an aspirin. Wait, that seems too weak- I need vicodin for this one.
I am now mad at myself because I am being insensitive. I have been standing for a while, but I am imagining how the speaker must feel. If any one has a right to be tired, it is them. I suck it up and I deal. I also remember where I am, not physically, but historically. In this place and time, I do not want to be anywhere else.
It is 10:30 and Mark Warner comes on. He is then followed by Governor Tim Kaine. FINALLY, the moment we have been waiting for arrives. Barack Obama walks out and boy is the crowd "fired up!" I cannot see him very well, after all I am in the back and there are 80,000 people in front of me. Seeing him is of no consequence however. I can hear his voice. I can hear the dynamic influence he has on these people, including me. I can hear why he packs out stadiums wherever he goes. I can feel the intensity and the electricity that crackles through the crowd, which by this time, has reached 87,000. I am pretty sure the 7,000 were all behind me.
When Senator Obama concludes his speech, it is around 11:10. It is late; it is past children's bedtime and people have work and or class the next day. Yet, there is still an excitement and fervor that lingers.
It is time to go home and leaving is worse than arriving. The police block off all exits to ensure that Sen. Obama has left safely. You can see now more so than ever that the crowd estimate was pretty accurate. We walk back the mile and a half to our vehicle and we make our way home. It is 12:30AM when we walk into the house. We are tired, hungry and hurting, but it was all worth it.
Today I woke up at 6AM to wrap things up and hopefully garner a win in the state of Virginia for Senator Obama.
Today I woke up feeling particularly BLUE.
Today I woke up hopeful.
Today I woke up to vote.
Today, do your part.
Today, I did mine.
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