Untitled

I am at such a loss for words, that I cannot even think up a title for this post. In a previous post, my boy Jay addressed the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation. I wanted to say something, but for a long time, I never could. I was not sure exactly how I felt, therefore I was slow to give my opinion. Furthermore, I wanted to wait until more facts surfaced. Yes, I read transcripts and saw the pictures, but I still wanted more. I wanted to hear from Rihanna or Chris Brown, who until now has yet to come forward to address what really happened.

It has been my opinion that regardless of what took place, there was a moment for us all to talk about the dangers of domestic violence. There was a moment for Rihanna to step up and give a voice to hundreds of thousands of women who have none. There was a clear opportunity for Chris Brown to not only apologize sincerely, but give a speak on behalf of men who are battling some serious demons. After all that waiting, I come across this.

Here's why I'm mad:



Really though, Chris? Of all the things you could have said, that is what you chose to come up with? After awaiting what you had to say all these months, the best you could do was, "Everybody that's haters, they just been haters". THEN follow it up with, "I ain't a monster".

WHOA!!!!

I am sorry.

Was I the only person who saw those pictures of Rihanna?! She looked pretty monstrous to me and in my opinion, only a true monster could have delivered such treatment. HOWEVER, I am a firm believer that even monsters can be rehabilitated. With that said, I would have had much more respect for C. Breezy if he kept it real and owned up to what he did, instead of promoting his new album, addressing critics as "haters", and denying the fact that he really IS a monster.

Am I missing something here? Does anyone agree? Disagree?

Travel, much?

I do not really get out much. Wait, I take that back. I do actually; I usually take one big vacation, which makes a plane necessary, then small little weekend trips that involve me, my car and the open road. Truth is, I like, maybe even love, to travel. I pray by the end of my life, I would have traveled to every single continent. There is nothing like being able to relax and live uninhibited while away on vacation. Without fail, by the end of every trip, I am usually exhausted due to too much fun and not enough sleep, but by no means is that a complaint. There is just so much to do in any given place that sleep is almost unnecessary.

HOWEVER! There have been times when my very sanity was threatened while traveling due to certain creatures beyond my control...

KIDS!!

Here's why I'm mad:

I believe little kids should not travel. Period. Point blank. I am tempted to end my post right here, but some of you might want an explanation- especially those who do not agree, so here it is. It is the worst feeling, especially on a plane, when there are kids screaming and crying and playing and just being annoying. You cannot sleep or even listen to your iPod because of the noisy soundtrack playing in the background.

Call me insensitive, but if your kid cannot talk or understand you, he/she should not be allowed to travel. If the child is too young to be whooped, they should not be allowed to travel. If you cannot, nor do you know how to control your child, NEITHER of you should be allowed to travel.

I have a dozen pet peeves about traveling, but this one takes the cake. I understand that sometimes parents are embarrassed by their children's behavior, but if that is the case, you should have left the little critter at home. No need to ruin everyone else's flight because you forgot or neglected to bring the necessary items to take care of your child. Infants especially. At least a 3 year old can tell you why they are crying. Babies cannot. It is a guessing game that I, for one, cannot afford for you to lose. Is the baby hungry? Does he/she need their diaper changed? Are they just experiencing a level of discomfort? All this can be avoided if you and your child just stayed home, making it a better experience for the rest of us who wanted to enjoy our flight.

If you are at a loss for what to do with your child while traveling, then take my advice and stay home!

Thugs and Nappyheaded Hoes

Today's blog entry is a guest spot. This is Jay's second time blessing my blog and be sure it will not be his last. If you would like to check Jay out every day, then read The Book of Jackson. You can also check out this original piece here.

Some of you may or may not have heard about Mark Cuban calling Kenyon Martin a thug or punk or whatever he said. You can check out the entire updated article here. I find this to be very intriguing all the time when things like this happen because what it is an example of, is when people outside of African America decide to open our dryer door and take out our dirty laundry.


Here's why I'm mad:


Let us go back to Don Imus and his “Nappyheaded Hoes” comment. I may have been one of the only vocal people about saying, “Had Steve Harvey has said this, we would not have done anything but laugh.” He did not say anything we already did not say to ourselves or in closed company. Hell, you had a rap song come out in which the rapper Hot Stylez says,

"You rat lookin’ boy, will you marry me, splat lookin’ boy, Whoopi Goldberg black lip lookin’ boy, Midnight train Gladys Knight lookin boy, You poor lookin boy, Don Imus ol’ nappy headed ho lookin’ boy"

And we played it in the club and we all shared a laugh. What is worse is that if we were watching the games, we were saying to ourselves, “Damn, these some rough looking chicks.” Ok, and be real son, be real. When your pony tail ain’t got no hang time and you try to pull that joint back, you get that nasty kitchen… you was saying to yourself, “Nappyheaded hoes” or even worse. Don’t front.

So when Mark Cuban calls Kenyon Martin a thug and the Dallas Mavs' fans call the Denver Nuggets thugs, how upset are we? Very upset that Black athletes are considered thugs in this day and age? That they can not be respected for who they are as individuals and basketball players?

WRONG.

Because we have all been watching these playoffs and said to ourselves, the Nuggets are a bunch of “thugs.” And let us be honest with ourselves, we have been calling Kenyon Martin a thug since he was at Cincinnati. You cannot get on the cover of the SLAM magazine with platinum fronts in your mouth, or have a serious street reputation in the clubs for your “thuggish” behavior and then expect self respecting law abiding citizens to let you get away with crying wolf when someone calls you a “thug.” Hell no.

I feel like this is a constant reminder that we cannot hold people to a certain level of accountability and responsibility that we are not willing to hold ourselves to. And that’s realer than real deal Hollifield.

Always 100 with y’all,

Dr. J

Really, California?

I remember back in the day, when I was still living in Brooklyn, New York, my parents and I would watch the Miss USA and Miss Universe pageants. We always rooted for Miss Jamaica and Miss America and would be ecstatic if either of them won. If neither of those persons won, but the winner was a minority, then we were happy about that too! As time passed, like it normally does, that tradition became lost on us. My mom still watches these pageants, but by herself. My dad and I just do not have the patience for it like we used to, I guess. We may inquire who mom wants to win, we may ask about who actually won (mainly to see if she was right), we may even see the evening gown competition, but we will not sit there dutifully in front of the TV screen like days of old.

Just because we no longer watch the show, does not mean the show must not go on. This year's pageant was like all the others, except something different happened...

Here's why I'm mad:

I walked into the living room where my mom was watching the Miss USA 2009 pageant. It was towards the end so I stuck around to see who won. For those who may have forgotten, or just did not know at all, the crown went to Kristen Dalton. Huh? What is that you say? Who is that? Why that is Miss North Carolina! Huh? What did you say? Oh!! (insert laughter here). No, Miss California did not win; she was the first runner up.

Yup, I made that mistake too. According to the official records and all the articles, Miss North Carolina took the Crown, but it was Miss California who took the spotlight. Miss Carolina's response to Perez Hilton's question regarding gay-marriage got a lot of feedback. Too much feedback. Then a ton of nude photographs magically appeared which put her Miss California title in jeopardy. This is too much for me for a contestant- after all, that is what she is. She did not win. Where is Miss North Carolina in all this? If I were her, I would be pissed because Miss California is definitely stealing her thunder.

We have a tendency to not see the forest for the trees. Let me put something in perspective- Miss California's response was controversial, yes, but it was not as bad of a blunder as another contestant in previous years who totally skipped geography in school. Nor was it as bad as a previous winner who was an alcoholic and a coke-head.

Stating one's opinion is nothing to write home about. Taking nude photos, accident or not, may be news-worthy, but for how long? When are we going to let Miss North Carolina start or get on with her duties as Miss USA instead of paying attention to the girl who did not win? Instead of Miss USA, Miss California is on the news circuit. Instead of Miss USA, Miss California is holding press conferences. She is like the Sarah Palin of the pageant world- you keep wondering when is she just going to go away?!

Miss California, your 15 minutes are up. As a matter of fact, they were up 15 minutes ago. Time to fade to black...

Pet Peeves

This article is LONG overdue (Thanks for the idea Coy)! I have been asking a few friends to give me ideas about things that gripe them and it seems that there are a lot of little things that just anger a lot of people (see, I am not the only one who gets mad).

Here's why I'm mad:

People who get in elevators and only go up/down ONE floor. Dude, we are in the lobby and you need to take the elevator to the 2nd floor?

When you are on the phone with someone and they say, "Well I'm going to let you go", but then keep you on the phone long after they were supposed to let you go. (Thanks Jay!)

When someone asks for your honest opinion, then get mad at what you have to say if it is something they did not want to hear.

When someone texts you "Hi" and after responding, they do not reply back- I HATE that!!!

Holding doors open for persons and not getting a thank you.

Sneezing/coughing without covering your mouth. (Swine flu, much?)

Sneezing/coughing WITH covering your mouth then offering that same hand for a hand shake.

People who come to work sick.

In trying to leave work on time, your boss gives you an assignment at 4:55 knowing darn well you leave at 5.

People who invite you to events on facebook that are clearly not in your City. Dude, if you are in Florida and I am in VA, why are you constantly inviting me to your events?!

Random friend requests on facebook.

Twitter.

Typos.

Tardiness.

That is all I can think of right now, but feel free to add more*.

*These are not just my pet peeves. This list is a compilation of ideas from myself and other persons.

Here We Go Again

I hope this is the last time I have to talk about this because this church thing is getting out of hand! We have previously discussed religious zealots and overly exaggerated church songs and sermons. Well, here we go again!

Read this article.

Here's why I'm mad:

Although many of the posts here are my personal opinions, I tend not to get too personal, but I am willing to let that rule go for the purpose of this article.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, I am a Christian. I go to church every (well, almost every) Sunday; I tithe (mostly); I do bible study with my family (sometimes), etc. I grew up in your typical Christian home where I went to Sunday School, joined the choir and a number of youth groups. I even attended Vacation Bible School in the summer! As active as my family and I were in the church, my parents still allowed me to go on dates and attend dances and parties that my friends were throwing.

Getting ready for my prom was a great experience; it was almost like my mother was dressing me for my wedding! My mom shopped for my dress, took me to the hairdresser, got my nails done and left work early to help me get dressed. I did not see my parents until two days later because I went to the after party (my first club experience) and got home in the wee hours of the morning only to change for a trip to Six Flags (anyone who went to Sheepshead Bay HS knows after prom, you HAVE to go to Six Flags! It is tradition!).

I could not imagine not going through any of these experiences because I either A- went to a school that did not allow it, or B- lived in a strict household that forbade any type of nonreligious activities.

If there can be no dancing and no holding hands, I am in deep trouble. Deep, deep trouble!

"Train up a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it". That is somewhere in the Bible, not sure where, but it is in there and it rings true. If you instill in a child certain values and ethical standards, then you can trust that your child will be okay, but by all means, do not beat them over with a religious stick! Where are his parents in all of this? Did they allow their son to attend his girlfriend's prom? Did they know about the school's strict rules? How do they feel about his suspension?

Regardless of which, we need to lighten up. Teach your children right from wrong. Help them make wise decisions, but also allow them to make mistakes. Have fun with your kids, but also allow them to have fun independently of you. Talk to them and trust that they are listening- and trust me, they are listening. In the end, your children will be alright... even if they dance and hold hands for a little.

Spare the Rod...

You guys know the saying, "Spare the rod, spoil the child". There are many ways for parents to discipline their children; in order to avoid using the rod, parents are finding new and incentive ways to do so and still remain in control. We joke about how white parents fail to discipline their children, while black parents over-discipline theirs. Although sometimes true, this is also sometimes false. People, regardless of race, have their own way of doing things. I know white people who got their tail COOKED when they were younger and black children who do not relate to those experiences.

Madlyn Primoff's two daughters were fighting in the back seat of the car, when she told them to get out of the car as punishment. She intended to only go around the block, but when she returned, the girls were not there. You can find the full story here.

Here's why I'm mad:

Apparently, a lot of mothers are angry that Primoff would do such a thing to her children. I wholeheartedly disagree! The girls are 12 and 10. At that age, they are too old for beatings and time outs and grounding does not work all the time. I could and do understand Primoff's frustration at the squabbling siblings. If anyone has baby-sat children who proved to be a bit difficult, you know you want to A- beat the mess out of them, or B- call their parents and tell them to pick them up ASAP because if they do not, you will C- beat the mess out of them!

Worse than two squabbling siblings are two squabbling girls! Have you ever heard two girls argue? It is not a pretty sight. Shoot, I cannot even stand to see grown women argue. It is absolutely ridiculous. I am sure Primoff wanted to slam on the brakes and rip her hair out, but instead, she kicked them out the car. Say what you want, but it is called tough love. Deal with it.

I do not think it was her intention to leave them there for a long period of time. At times, parents do foolish things when they are at their wits end, but at no point do I think what Primoff did is worthy of all this attention. I know I was 10 years old going to the corner store by myself; I was 10 yrs old and left in the car by myself; shoot, I might have been 10 years old and still getting the brakes beaten off of me! Sad thing is, as bad as I may think I have gotten whooped, which really was not that bad, I am positively sure my parents got whooped WORSE!

Many of you may not agree with me, but that is fine. You do not have to; after all it is my blog. Who cares what you think? OK, OK, just kidding. I would love to hear what you guys think.

My opinion? We need to lighten up. No harm, no foul.

PS- I wonder if President Obama beats his kids?! If you ask me young Sasha looks like she could use a good whooping lol.